The Nine Love Styles
The fun thing about love styles is the way they help you understand yourself ... and why some of your relationships thrive and why others seem doomed from the start. The styles explain how we all speak a different language of love.
Love styles reflect how you prefer to express your affection, love and compassion ... as well as how you know that you are loved. If they sound familiar, its because they are based based on the nine life paths.
Brief Overview
As you read the brief descriptions below, keep in mind that you may have different styles for the different people in your life. Your kids, best friends, lovers and soul mate may all evoke a different style of expressing love. And as your loved ones grow and evolve, they may need and want a different style of love than you prefer are able to give.
Also, keep in mind that your own unique love style may be a combination of several of these styles.
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Love Style 0: Lost, Still Searching
With a love style of zero, you are at a loss or still searching for the best way to express your love. Fumbling around, being unsure of yourself, the right move to make, the right thing to say, or just not sure where to put your hands. This style, a common one for those just starting out, can become an endless loop if you fail to discover yourself ... and explore and develop your own unique style of expressing your feelings, concerns, compassion and love (with a capital L).
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Love Style 1: Discovering, Exploring, Innovating
In love style one, you like to explore and discover. That could range from sharing discoveries of great restaurants, avant guarde films and places to make out -- to delighting in exploring new heights and depths in touching, exploring new ways to kiss or giving a foot massage. The focus is on the new and innovative -- and the activities of pioneering and inventing. With friends, family, lovers and soul mates -- you like to express your feelings through experiencing and sharing the new, unusual, unexpected, and innovative ...
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Love Style 2: Nurturing, Growing
Love path style is all about nurturing, supporting and helping others grow. With this love style, you find joy in helping the ones you love grow and become who they truly are. You are the one who shows their love by giving great advice, supporting people through difficult life passages, and championing them to go after their dreams. From giving moral support to making comfort foods and creating a relaxing, nurturing environment -- you love to nurture and help friends, lovers and kindred spirits thrive.
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Love Style 3: Expressing, Performing
If you are a love style 3, you show your love in very expressive ways -- from writing your own poetry or creating a work of art to surprise romantic getaways and dramatic showers of affection. Showing and expressing your feelings in unique and personal ways is a major theme. You are the one to hand make a one-of-a-kind birthday card, write and perform your own love ballad, or implement grand and glorious displays of friendship, love and compassion.
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Love Style 4: Building, Organizing
WIth this love style, you focus on building strong relationships that can weather the storms of life. You design and organize your love life to provide enduring foundations that support, shelter and protect the ones you love. The day to day building of a life and a relationship are the tasks you focus on.
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Love Style 5: Risk Taking, Adventurous
Love style five is full of adventure, intrigue, danger and romance. You thrive on an environment that requires the best and bravest parts of yourself to come forward. Expressing courage, whether in the bedroom or on the battlefield of life, is a major focus. Here, love inspires you to leap tall buildings to save maidens in distress or rescue the prince from a burning building. Making someone feel safe and protected, well guarded as well as well loved, is key.
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Love Style 6: Teaching, Healing, Managing
In love style six, you are focused on using knowledge and express your love by creating, sharing and using it. This can take the form as being a healer or a teacher to the ones you love ... showing them all the things you have learned ... educating them about the lessons of life and love ... and using your energies to heal and strengthen them. Beyond the nurturing style of Two, you are working at a deeper and grander level to transform their lives and help them overcome the barriers that hold them back ... physically, mentally or energetically.
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Love Style 7: Researching, Analyzing
Seven is all about seeking the truth and sharing it with the ones you love. Investigating, researching, analyzing the facts, you are the one who ferrets out the real story, weighs the pros and cons of the major life decisions of the ones you love, and works through the tough times to find the nugget of truth. Friends and family turn to you for your ability to figure out what is going on -- and you love to get to the bottom of things. You show your love by researching the heck out of the next vacation spot, investigating every pizza place to discover which is the best, and discussing the intricacies of theories about your favorite subjects late into the night.
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Love Style 8: Orchestrating, Leading
If you are a love style eight, you love to orchestrate and direct as a way of showing your love. Being the executive in charge lets you smooth the path for those you love and put their world in order. As the leader of the pack, you like to be out in front, taking charge and making life happen for those you love. From ordering college applications for the kids to overseeing the smallest details of your vacations together -- making things run efficiently as well as at full throttle are your aim.
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Love Style 9: Mentoring, Guiding
Love style nine is different. Here love is expressed by taking the role of guide, mentor or sage. In that sense, you show your love by sharing the experience, insight and wisdom you have gained. Your highest and best moments come when you can help the ones you love move forward on their path. Not necessarily always a relationship that involves a vast gap in age or wisdom ... a true match among equals who both have love path Nine can be quite extraordinary ... an opportunity to see-saw through some of the toughest love terrain.
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So, now that you have read all the styles, take a moment to think about your relationships.
Do any of these describe you or someone you know? If they do describe you, which ones do your prefer to get? Which ones do you prefer to receive? Does this help you understand why some of your relationship work and others failed?
Quiz: What is My Love Style?
