Do You Know The Critical Tasks of Love?
Love Has Tasks & Lessons
Love is always busy teaching us about life and the World. Even at rest, our hearts can beat with excitement and passion. Someone can catch our eye, and possibilities dance like sugar plums in our head.
Catch "site" of a fleeting image that reminds you of an old lover, and your mind turns over to days gone by. See something that reflects the ideal partner and a smile comes over you.
What does it take to make love real? Make it manifest in our lives? And happy enough to stay for a lifetime .. or two .. or three?
Taking a stab at life is a little bit like trying to spear love with NEptune's Trident. Love is oft times more like a small fish ...too small and delicte for a spear ... but it can be carefully scooped into and at home in the cup of love.
The Three Critical TAsks* of Love
There are three major tasks or lessons Love needs to teach of us. To master these three is to be on the path to becoming who we really are.
Task 1: Understand Why Relationships Fail
If you have just had a major breakup -- with your best friend, your spouse, or anyone you have cared for -- you might be wondering why relationships fail.
They do for lots of reasons ... but there here a few ideas that may help you understand "the why" behind the breakup.
Usefulness & Pleasure
Like it or not, many relationships are based on their usefulness and pleasure. It sounds kinda harsh, but this simple truth can open your eyes to what is really going on in many relationships.
Growing In different Directions
We grow up and mature at different rates and in different ways. Sometimes the people we love are moving slower than we are ... or faster ... or taking a different path in life. They decide they want something different than we do, or have values that lead them in a new direction.
Choosing Destiny over Fate
Soe.m.times it is a matter of choice ... of choosing to evolve beyond the fate our circumstances have in store for us ... and go after a destiny that irresistibly beckons us to get busy becoming who we were meant to be instead of settling. The search for success, enlightenment or to follow our hearts to a more extraordinary life can mean leaving behind those we love.
Task 2: Create Life Changing Relationships
You shouldn't be too surprised, lad.
I told you once that if you loved
someone enough, anything is possible.
- Brigadoon (movie)
Life Changing & Affirming Relationships
Unless you live on a desert island (and even if you do, there is always the trusted but laconic Wilson), love is about being with and sharing your life other sentient beings. Simply put, love requires an other -- even Narcissus knew that he required a reflection to talk to, commune with and adore.
So if an essential ingredient for love is being in a relationship (real or imagined) ... then creating and experiencing love speaks to a relationship with another that is extraordinary.
No man is an island ...
{no Word yet if this is true about a woman in Lord of The Rings or applies 2 the SolMoon Islands}
Beyond the pale blue sky relationships speak to a relationship* with a special other -- an extraordinary friend, kindred spirit, great love, soul mate, or beloved.
What unites all of them is that the relationship is life changing ... for both of you. But that change in life is also a natural evolution ... so no one is changed ... they just evolve.
What can make them heady and unstable is how fast you evolve, how open you are to change and growth, and how much your Other is as well. Sometimes the partnering is right, but the timing is wrong. Sometimes it is the other way around .. right timing, but someone else is a priority in your life ... and the camel nose can't sneak under the tent.
And that is where relationships across time and space come in handy ... with The Heirophant building the bridge between you.
Timeless Relationships
You can find kindred spirits in the works of ancient sages and find a connection with masters that created works of art centuries past. The words of poets and storytellers float down to us across the ages ... and land land* like snowflakes on our nose and eyelashes.
Nietzsche and Socrates can still push your buttons, Musashi can stir a soul with two swords, and Homer can make Odysseus come alive once more. Kindred sprits, soul mates and others do not have to have two feet on the ground. It just takes a bit more effort to reach out and let their words and work soak in, deep down into your bones.
But it can be done.
Task 3: Know When Someone Loves You
Who Gives You Wings?
Okay. People tell you all the time that they love you ... it rolls out the door as they head off to work, thank you for letting them borrowing the car keys, or getting them those pair of sneakers they have been wishing for.
But how do you really know who loves you? Not just for the things you do for them or the stuff you buy them. But for who you really are inside.
I like to think of it not in terms of the day-to-day, but who really helps you get to the next level in your life, who gives you wings to fly to heights you only dreamed of.
These are the people (and things, events, activities and experiences) that help you evolve and become more of who you were meant to be. The love is unconditional, it does not depend on what kind of day you (or they) are having, the stock market, the traffic coming home, or the latest crisis you are going through.
The ones who love you are the champions of your dreams, and they are easy to spot once you know what you are looking for.
Each one ...
- gives you wings to reach your goals
- champions your dreams
- shares the right words at the right time
- tells you the truth from their heart
- is there for you when anyone else would be out the door
- is happy to share the tough times because it means they still get to be with you
- consistently helps you become independent, strong and successful
- gladly shares their time, knowledge and resources
- enjoys helping you grow and evolve into who you were meant to be
- recognizes your authentic self and support it coming out of hiding
This may seem like a tough list, but there are people in your life who do this effortlessly, who do not fake how much they love you and want you to be happy, successful, healthy and at peace. They sincerely want to see you bloom and bear fruit, and will tell you the truth you need to hear, help you prune away the deadwood in your life and blow out the candles on your divorce cake to welcome in a new love of your life.
